I always have witty thoughts or deep ponderings during the day while I'm working, but do I think to type them out when I get home? Well, if you follow this (and I use the term "follow" very loosely), you know that I don't. I'll try and catch you up. ;)
Lately I've been trying to come to terms with all that's gone on in our world the past year. It's amazing what brings on the nostalgia. As I was driving to a meeting the other night, stuck in lovely traffic, I had a lot of time to think.
It all started with a Panera Bread.
I realized how long it had been since we'd been able to eat out freely, do what we wanted, etc. With the chill of fall in the air, I felt the nostalgia of a carefree life along with the pain of a barely making it. Apparently the radio knew what I was feeling, too. Fergie sang, "Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?" Life was charmed, but things just don't always work out.
I continued my slow crawl across town and thought about life now. All the important things are still in place: We haven't lost our home, we have two wonderful puppies who make me smile every day, and a husband who loves me more than anything.
So what's the problem?
Uncertainty. For the past 8 months we've lived in a constant state of worry. Worrying what our jobs will hold, worrying about what bills will come in the mail, worrying about the state of our families. Nothing has been comfortable, nothing stable. The radio continued my train of thought with Third Eye Blind. The one question everyone asks: "How's it gonna be?" What's next? What's tomorrow?
As my heart started to race and I got closer to my meeting, I tried to breathe. Reflecting back on "my former life" as I know call it, I thought of the places we traveled, the cool restaurants we got to visit, the people I got to meet, and I realized this: It doesn't matter. We might not know where we are going next, and the most recent road might have been REALLY bumpy, but it's all a ride. I wouldn't trade the experiences we had for the world.
What's next? Well, I don't have all the answers, but as my car pulled into the garage, Sarah McLachlan reminded me:
"Weep not for the memories."
