Let's talk about manners today, shall we? I'm going to shoot it out there plain and simple:
Do not ask a woman if she is pregnant unless a baby is currently shooting out of her vagina.
While this might seem obvious to some, let's talk about the implications here. You may think you are being cute or hoping to share a little secret with someone, but you aren't. Ever. Let's talk about some scenarios:
1. Woman is overweight. Not pregnant. You ask her this question, and you have just ruined her day. Odds are, she knows she's overweight, and you suggesting she might be hiding an 8 pound bundle of joy under there are not going to do any favors for her self esteem.
2. Woman is sick to her stomach. Not pregnant. What do you do when a man is sick to his stomach? Is he pregnant, too? Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but there are actually other causes to being ill besides being knocked up. And for those of that have serious stomach issues and are sick almost every single day, that question gets real old, real fast.
3. Woman is of child-bearing age. Again, do NOT assume she might be pregnant! Here's the clencher - this woman might be desperately trying to have a child, maybe just lost a baby, might not be able to financially have a baby, but desperately wants to be pregnant. While you think you are asking an innocent question, you are shooting a dagger through her already hurting heart. Think I'm being dramatic? Whoever you just asked that question and/or the often follow up "Why don't you have kids yet?" might have gone home and cried, because you just reminded them that their dream is not a reality, and it might be very much out of their control. I'm speaking from experience here, and from the experiences of those close to me.
And for all the mommies that want to throw out something about "it's such a great joy and we just want you to share and are eager for you to share too!" We know. And we want to, but for some reason, right now we can't. So please have some tiny consideration for our feelings and quit rubbing it in our faces.
And for the rest of you - just stop being so rude!
2 comments:
oh my gosh---I COMPLETELY know what you mean!! I gained a little weight over the summer (seriously...just a little!!) and I had a former student say, "so how is it??" and pointed to my stomach. Doug (the wonderful BF) almost killed the child for me. I can't wait to be a mom....SOMEDAY.
I totally agree with you! It's awful how inconsiderate some people are. I just wait for them to say something and THEN I say Congrats. You NEVER want to be wrong!!!!
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